7 Ways to Deal with Manipulative People at Both Your Workplace and Around Friends
by firstname.lastname@example.org • September 8, 2019
The world today is full of manipulative people. If you are not keen on recognising them, you may end up falling prey to their schemes. This group of people tend to be very self centered and many times their main concern is accomplishing their own personal agenda at your expense.
The following are some common traits of manipulative people:
1. They are never genuine
When manipulative people treat you well, it is usually not genuine. This is because their main aim is to gain some personal benefits from being good to you. If you are unable the meet their demands, they will overwhelm you with condemnation and make you feel very guilty.
2. They demand immediate attention
Manipulative people expect to have your full attention whenever they demand for it. They always expect you to give an immediate answer to all their queries and they never want to be told to wait. Their aim is to push you into giving an answer that favours them without giving it much thought.
3. They never respect your privacy or boundaries
Manipulative people demand to have unlimited access to every part of your life and they never respect your privacy. If you try to set up your personal boundaries, they will totally ignore them and intrude whenever they desire to do so. If you try to object to this, they will be quick to blame you for being unreasonable. These people want to feel like they control every part of your life.
4. They are not interested in your opinion
Manipulative people will ask you for your opinion but the truth is that they are actually not interested in what you think. They usually think of ways to counter your ideas as you put them forward. They watch your response carefully and come up with a strategy on how to discredit your words. Their aim is to show off their own idea as being the most suitable one.
5. They constantly undermine you
This is another trait of manipulators. If you have any achievements that make them feel threatened or intimidated, then they will make sure they undermine all your successes. They will never acknowledge that you have done well because they tend to feel like they should be in a place of superiority over you. Their negative words are designed to erase all the excitement that you may have felt about your achievements.
6. They never take responsibility for their actions
Manipulators never take responsibility for their actions. They always lay the blame on someone else, and in this case, they will lay the blame on you for any wrongdoing on their part. They will try and justify their mistakes by turning the facts around to look like you are the culprit. People who are manipulative never want to appear as being in the wrong, even when the facts show clearly that they are to blame.
7. They can never be trusted
Manipulative people have a tendency to change their strategy overnight if things do not appear to be going as they had planned. You can never trust a manipulator because he or she could give you a proposed plan of action, but on the day of implementation the original plan could be totally discarded. He or she may decide to change tact without informing you so as to take you by surprise and maintain an upper hand.
8. They are very judgmental
Manipulators love to be at the top in all spheres of life. If they notice that you could be at the same level of success, then they tend to become very judgemental. They will magnify your areas of weakness to those around you so that your high level of performance is watered down. Manipulators have an attitude of superiority and they believe that no one should match up to their level of success.
Once you have identified the manipulative people in your life, the following are 7 ways that will help you to deal with them.
1. Simply ignore their strategies
Manipulators are always looking for ways to make you respond emotionally so that they can strategise on how to influence you to their advantage. Make sure that you do not listen or even respond to their schemes because their plan is always to trigger an unfavourable reaction from you then send you on a guilt trip. If the manipulator is someone like your boss, then you can choose to remain silent or limit your responses.
2. Do not fall prey to guilt
One main weapon that manipulators use is the feeling of guilt. You should never fall prey to the guilt trips that manipulators try to burden you with. Remain confident in the decisions that you have made and do not allow manipulators to fill you with doubt. In cases where you make a mistake, forgive yourself and move on without feeling condemned. Never allow manipulators to keep emphasising your failures.
3. Solidify your sense of purpose against manipulative people
Make sure that you are very confident and sure about your purpose in life. This will keep you focused and give you personal direction. Do not discuss your life purpose with manipulators because their aim most of time is to impose their own purpose in your life so that they can benefit from it.
4. Do not be a people pleaser
If you have a tendency to be a people pleaser, then you will be more vulnerable to manipulative people. Manipulators tend to thrive on people pleasers, and they use this weakness to make their own demands. Learn to be satisfied with who you are and what you have achieved so far without thinking of whether it pleases others or not. This will help you to develop a healthy self-esteem without the approval of people.
5. Surround yourself with positive people
Ensure that you are surrounded by positive people who speak encouraging words to you and cheer you on to achieve your life purpose. If you are only listening to those who build you up, then you can easily ignore the manipulators who seek to destroy you. Manipulators will never speak positively about your plans and purposes because they always want to enjoy the limelight alone.
6. Do not rely on people’s opinions
If you keep asking for people’s opinions before you make most of your decisions, then you will easily fall victim to manipulators. It is acceptable to ask the opinions of one or two people who you trust. However, it is different if you cannot make any decision before getting several random opinions. This will put you at the mercy of manipulators who will give you dishonest opinions so that you eventually fail to achieve your goals while they continue to thrive.
7. Build your own self-esteem
Make sure that you learn how to build your own confidence and self esteem. Set your goals and begin to pursue them confidently. Whenever you manage to achieve your milestones, give yourself a reward so that you can be encouraged to continue in the right direction. Never allow manipulators to destroy your self-esteem.
Now that you are aware of the traits of manipulative people as well as how to deal with them, it should be easier for you to avoid this whole negative experience of being manipulated. Be keen to avoid manipulators as soon as you recognise them.